How To Be Okay With Being Alone
Let me first preference by stating there is a massive difference between being alone and being lonely. Think of it this way… you could be surrounded by a thousand people and still feel like one of the loneliest people in the world. Being alone is all about your current state of mind, perspective and resilience. It’s about enjoying all the little things life has to offer, staying connected, keeping busy and learning to fall in love with yourself. So with that being said… this is how to be okay with being alone.
Appreciating all the “little” things.
Have you ever heard the expression “It’s the little things in life that end up being the big ones”? Yeah… well it’s true. When you start paying attention to all the small details, you start viewing life a little differently. The sky will appear more blue some days. You notice the birds come out after a big rainfall to dance in the puddles. Flowers will have a more vibrant smell. You will witness acts of love all around you, in the market, on the streets or in your favourite restaurant. In essence… you become more alive.
Some other “little” things that people sometimes take for granted is:
- No obligations. With the ability to do whatever you want, whenever you want and with WHO you want. You choose how you get to spend your time.
- The peace and quiet. Someday you’re going to wish you had those moments of silence to yourself!
- Less stress (aside from trying to survive in this economy with a 1 income household)… You aren’t dealing with unnecessary bullsh*t.
The moment you start finding beauty in all the little things around you, will be the moment you become more grateful for what you have. To be okay with being alone means you need to recognize your blessings and all the magic that lies around you. Choose to see the beauty! Choose to enjoy the little things.
Being social + staying connected.
Being alone does NOT mean to fully disassociate from the world around you! In fact, that will do the opposite and may make you lonely. Humans thrive with other human connection. I’m not saying to associate with everyone and be Miss. Popular… but don’t disconnect from your loved ones for too long. Taking a break is normal, becoming a hermit is not. Been there, done that. When you isolate yourself for too long your mind starts to wander… you start overthinking everything and creating situations in your head. Again… because we crave human connection your brain starts to do it by itself by making logic out of nothing. Hence another reason why I started my brand Konfession. It connects us with strangers in the most unexpected way. It helps us be vulnerable and allows us to grow as individuals.
Speaking of staying connected. Please choose QUALITY people to spend your time with! I can't stress this enough… quality over quantity. Choose people who support your dreams, understand you, push you to do your best, make you face your fears, empower and influence you in the best possible ways. Be with people who help you grow, trust and love.
Whether you are alone or not, everyone needs to analyze who they spend their time with! Spending time with the wrong kinds of people can really drain your energy and make you feel lonely. To help you be okay with being alone, please make sure you have connections with good quality people.
Staying busy + stimulating your mind.
Being alone gives you the blissful opportunity of being by yourself the majority of the time. This is where my favourite part of being alone comes into play… This is where you endeavor in what I like to call the “experimental stage”. Find the things that excite you! Learn a new skill, try out different foods, watch different shows or listen to new music. Go on adventures with yourself and romanticize the sh*t out of your life. Find what you’re into and what makes you an INDIVIDUAL! Where have you always wanted to travel? What turns you on? What makes you feel powerful and uniquely you?
Some ideas of self stimulation:
- Go on an epic adventure into a strange town. (please be safe)
- Journal + meditate + self reflect.
- Go visit the Stag Shop… ;)
- Watch the sunset.
- Go for a walk in the rain.
- Order some take out and have a date night with The Notebook. (yes I am a hopeless romantic, can you tell?)
Stay busy and love every moment of it! Main character moments for life.
Falling in love with yourself.
Last but certainly not last, the most epic adventure you will ever go on… falling in love with yourself. How can you hate being alone when you’re learning how to love in all the ways you thought were impossible? Seriously, when you deeply love and cherish your mind, body, soul and life experiences you will NEVER be lonely. If you think about it, feeling lonely is the self destructive act of not feeling like you’re good enough for anyone… which baby girl you are! You just need to find it within yourself first! The good part about loving yourself first is you will NEVER settle for anything less. I want you to sit and think about this for a second… If you only love yourself at 60% and then someone comes in and loves you at 70%, you would think that's amazing because they’re loving you more than you love yourself… BUT there is still another 30% missing. Now if you love yourself at 100% then in order for someone to come in to love you they need to be giving 110%. Don't settle for being loved 70% of the time. Wait for someone who will come along and give 110%. You deserve it, everyone does.Good things come to good people. Good things come to people who are patient. Good things come to people who work on themselves. You won’t be alone forever… but in the meantime embrace your one man journey. It’s a blessing that some wish they had.
Until next time,
Written by Lindsay Schoneveld